How Forever Feels

It's been a little over two years that Greg and I have been married. Time has flown by so quickly but also slowly at times. We have been priviledged to go to Florida,a cruise to Mexico, Chicago for a prestigious award that Greg won and many other adventures. Each day we love each other more and with that has created a desire for more. The desire to begin growing our forever family. It has been a struggle over the past two years to feel so defeated.
Last year in feburary we found out we were pregnant and we were all smiles from ear to ear. We created the hopes and future ideas of what our soon to be future would be about. We had just got into our first home, and Greg also had just been promoted to coach. If only we had know..(nothing is ever that perfect and happy right?) while we were so happy and grateful for these fantastic blessings, something happened that made it hard to focus on the good. I lost the baby. Devestation took hold of Greg and I. Especially me. I felt lost and confused. The little hope I had been given is that most woman I had spoken with had gotten pregnant in the next few months, so we clung to this..but each month our hope failed and desperation kicked in.
We started taking clomid a fertility drug last year. This is a basic fertility medicine that ensures ovulation. After six months of that we looked into something more. We tried ai( artificial insemination) which is $400 a time and we again got our hopes up and then shot down when aunt flow came to town with an angry and unkind force. How could this happen we thought? We are doing everything in our power to get pregnant and obey the commandment to multiply and replenish the earth. It was difficult to understand but we decided to trust in the lord. We took a break for a few months from the stresses of trying.
When decided to start up again it was a slow process with continuing dissapoiment. My doctor said we needed to try ai at leat two more times, but we couldn't bring ourselves to spend thy much when after testing Greg he was said to have a very high count. My gut feeling was to see if I had endometriosis. The down side this is that the only way you can find out is by getting surgery.
Surgery proved to be successful! I had 5 spots of endometriosis that the doctor removed and hearing that news brought tears to my eyes. I knew the spirit told me and guided me to that surgery.
We tried again after the surgery and again to no such luck aunt flow graced us with her presence(yep)..
So now here we are praying this month for s miracle and trying each day to trust in the lords plan for us.
Prayers in our behalf are greatly appreciated!