The Delivery of Our Boy

     Well he is finally here! and we couldn't be more excited to be parents and happy to have him in our lives. The delivery of Hayden did not go according to our plan, but all we care about now is that he is here and is healthy.
     No one wants to go past their due date, but I did. I had to go the full week past my due date. (stinky huh?) I was scheduled to be induced Saturday night and that would make his birth date the 18th of November. However I was in labor Friday night all night long, but had no idea it was contractions because it was all in my lower back. On Saturday morning the pain continued and so eventually I realized I could time the contractions and they were less than 5 minutes apart. We were already scheduled to get checked into the hospital that night so Greg and I decided to show up the hospital and see if they would admit me. Sure enough, they did! They hooked me up to the monitors and my contractions were consistent but I was still only dilated to a 1+ and 80% effaced. Due to this they continued on with my induction plan and gave me a dose of cyotec. My contractions picked up even more after this and I decided to get my epidural before they administered the pitocin. The epidural was painful but as soon as it kicked in I was in heaven! They finally came in and gave me the pitocin to get things rolling even faster. Not more than a few minutes later four to five nurses rushed into my room and rolled me to my side, put oxygen on my face, and turned off the pitocin. Hayden's heart rate was going up and down. He was in distress. The nurse spoke with the on call doctor and said we would take a break and let Hayden recover than try a lower dose of pitocin. Before we tried it again the Doctor broke my water in hopes of helping things move along better. When we tried pitocin again he went into distress again. It was very scary to hear that he was not doing well and looking into Greg's eyes I could tell this (almost daddy) was very scared for his son. The on call doctor stated to us that the placenta was not functioning the way it should since he was past due and that we would need to C-section. He called my OB and confirmed that we needed to c-section. As this was happening my contractions were picking up naturally on their own and keeping Hayden in distress. Due to this they gave me some medicine to stop contractions all together that made me shake uncontrollably.
     I was wheeled into the operating room and my doctor announced that he would be born by 10:31pm. Greg held my hand while I was shaking and watched the doctors cut me open. At 10:31pm Hayden arrived into this world crying. His cry was the most beautiful sound I have ever heard. I started to bawl. I couldn't see behind the curtain, but at that moment I was now a Mom! He soon after his delivery peed all over the nurses and all started to suck on the nurses hand! They announced his weight and said that he was 8lbs 12ounces. He was one big baby. He also probably would have weighed more if they weighed him before he peed. It was such a happy time and it was so fun to hear all that was going on from the side. But, here is where things got a little bit crazier. The epidural started to not work and I started to feel them as they were pushing and pulling on my stomach. It was so painful and at the same time I was still shaking madly and having a hard time breathing. The pain was awful but they finally finished and I was able to go into the recovery room. Greg was holding Hayden and I was having a difficult time keeping my eyes open from the extra medicine they gave me. He was such a beautiful sight to see! He nursed well right away. He also sucked on his thumb right away and even pooped in his diaper, which I am told is super uncommon that they didn't even have wipes so we had to wait until we got into maternity. He was doing great, but my pain was still unmanaged and so I was given a few doses of morphine before they wheeled me up to maternity post partum.

     Once in my room in post partum I was tired but I thought everything was good. The nurses came in and started to push on my stomach which is routine. While they pushed I was gushing blood and had a clot come out that weighed over 1lieter. They called the hemorrhage unit in and the doctor ordered more morphine for me. I kept bleeding so they had to get the on call doctor in and he ordered 10 doses of morphine. Even with that what they had to do to stop the bleeding was the worst pain of my life. They had to dig the clot out while pushing so hard on my already sore stomach they might as well have been stepping on my stomach. Once that ordeal was finally over I was on watch because I borderline to be needing a blood transfusion. Luckily I never needed one after that, but this did not help with my recovery. I had to stay in the hospital 4 days instead of 2. Which I was glad, because going home after two days was out of the question.
    The delivery of Hayden did not go according to plan and it had some bumps, but I am one happy and proud momma of my sweet little boy. I would do it all over again. He is worth it!

Greg sure loves being a daddy! He is soo good to his little guy. I am so lucky to have such a loving husband who is such a loving daddy!

Miracle of a tiny kick

Today as my sweet little boy has decided to kick my stomach very hard and consistently I can't help but feel pure joy. What a beautiful little miracle that he lets his mamma know he's alive and well. I might be feeling really alone right now while Greg's at work but I know I'm not quite alone. My boy makes sure I know he is there and I LOVE him even more for that. He's a great miracle in my life and I'm dying to meet him. For now I'm loving him for reminding me he's alive and well and that I'm not alone :)

20 Weeks!!

We hit the halfway mark! I can't believe our little boy is so close to being here already. It is something else to gain weight and start having a round belly but it is so fun to feel him kick all the time. I can only imagine what I am going to look like 15 weeks from this picture. More updates to come!

3 year anniversary Vacation

As you know we just celebrated our 3 year anniversary while vacationing in the Dominican Republic. While we were there we had the opportunity to go to Ocean World to swim with the dolphins and do the sea lion encounter. We got to spend almost 2 hours with the dophins doing all sorts of fun things and I must say that it was one of my favorite experiences I have ever had. The culture in the Dominican is very far from the life we experience while living in the U.S.A. I realized how truly greatful I am just to have the small things that most people consdier luxury and not necessities. Most importantly I found out how much I truly love where I live and love american food.

Overwhelming Gratitude

As you know we have already announced officially that we are finally expecting our first child after waiting and trying for almost three years. I also wanted to just give a brief story of finding out about our miracle and the journey it took to get there.
The crazy thing is that the exact month we got pregnant two years ago is the exact same month we got pregnant this year. It was a much needed blessing and we were so shocked at the timing of it all. I was three days late and sitting in church trying not to cry. I was going through what I thought were menstral cramps and I just didn't know how many more months I could take it. Not just not being pregant, but starting late every month and getting my hopes up that it might finally be our good month. Well the unexpexted happend! WhenI didn't start I had greg go to the store and buy a test. I really had him do this just so I could see the "not pregnant" and at least know that I could move on to another month without stressing about not starting on time. Greg went up stairs to do something and when I started to see the test turn positive I was seriously hysterical. I was yelling at Greg to "come quick!!!" The state thatI was in made him think that I wasn't pregnant. I then proceeded to show him and said honey.."were finally pregnant!" He held me so close and we just cried and cried together. It just did not feel real. It still kind of doesn't but my HCG levels continued to double and we got to see our little blueberry and the heart beat and I just can't express that gratitude that I have towards my Heavenly father at this time. We have gone through so many struggles at bringing a child into this life. From cysts, to chronic inovuation, high prolactin, a supposed tumor, surguries, and even kidney stones. I would do it all again!
We also want to thank everyone for the support and prayers in our behalf. We couldn't have done it without you! We love you all!
Greg and Melanie

keep my mind off it

Every month flies past us like a bullet train lately except for those last few days before my cycle is due. I'm not sure why our minds can shut up and just stay clear from baby thoughts, but we always hold on to the "hope" that maybe, just maybe this month might be our lucky one. The sad but true fact is that we have yet to have our little miracle. We watch the miracles around us and they make us so happy, but the ache has yet to subside. The pressure builds every month that we have been on this new medication and I am so scared that it is getting our hopes of that our "issue" of me having high prolactin hormone count is the only thing that has been stopping us from getting pregnant. So now I need ideas to keep my mind off of it. How can I stay busy on top of work? Does anyone know something that makes you so busy that you forget about everything else?
To top the level of desire... At the end of this month 2 years ago we found out that we were pregnant... and a few weeks later miscarried. Its super depressing to have two years go by after getting pregnant and still be struggling to get pregnant.
So yes today is my day of feeling down and feeling like i deserve to think about what might have been and what could be for the future. but I do need to keep my mind off of it so any pointers will help.. but please don't get give me the (pray,scriptures,think of my blessings,etc) Ive tried those they help but i need an outlet.

A Tumor what??... Just kidding

The past month has been a trying time for both Greg and I. We have a beautiful marriage and life, but sometimes its not as easy to remember the good when you feel so overwhelmed with the bad or scary things. What I mean by this is that during our quest for the treatment and cause of our infertility I had my blood tested for several different hormone balances. In our first results my prolactin hormone was very high, but the nurse said we shouldn't worry because it could be thrown off by many other factors. The only way to know if my prolactin was irregular was to test again, but we had to wait for a menstrual cycle in order to do so. So we waited, and again had a month of no ovulation. I called the doctor and they gave me some medication to start a cycle so I could have a controlled environment for my blood testing ,free from the elements that could cause skewed results. The results came in and my prolactin had doubled from the last count and the nurse told me that I had a tumor in my pituitary gland which is usually benign, but I had to go in for a MRI to confirm. Crazy enough I was very scared but happy because I thought we had found the cause for our infertility and we were closer to fixing it. After the MRI... nope!! no tumor!! yay.. but tears? why? ...because I felt like I was moving backwards again. Luckily after visiting with my favorite doctor aka my fertility specialist I didn't feel so bad anymore. He put me on medicine and told us that it usually is the fix for infertility when you have high prolactin. The medicine however has all sorts of side effects and that's what we are working on now.
Working at home with no one to talk to being very tired from this medication has been difficult. Especially this past week when our car has been in the shop. However, it is so special to have a best friend to talk to every night. Without my sweet supportive husband Greg I would feel so lost. No one truly understands infertility unless you have been through it. Some people struggle for a little bit and find success and other never find success. Or people like us are in the middle of it struggling to get by each day on this horrible medication and not kill each other in the process. We are as of right now in the middle and stuck. Hopefully there will be some light at the end of this tunnel but as for now it is dark.
This message isn't to say woe is me. It is more to give me an expression of my experiences and my feelings. I am grateful to those friends and family members who have been there to see us through each new struggle. Yes we are still blessed and we love our Savior and Heavenly Father. We are enduring. We appreciate the continued prayers on our behalf and hope that we can continue on with optimism and also faith in the Lord.